Veronica Deals with Death
by Sally97
Summary: Lilly's Death leaves Veronica feeling empty and depressed, and the only person who can make her feel like she isn't going insane is Logan Echolls.
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first Veronica Mars fanfic, so go easy on me. Sorry if I have missed some spelling mistakes, but I tried. Please review with constructive criticism. Thanks!

I do not own the rights to Veronica Mars. The writes belong to the genius himself, Rob Thomas.

**Veronica Deals with Death**

"Duncan what's happened? Where's Lilly?" I ask him.

He looks at me, still rocking back and forth, and frowns with a pained expression on his face.

I look around. Searching, with my eyes, waiting for Lilly to come walking out from a room. Then I see that Dad and most of the other police officers are crowded around a figure on the floor, next to the pool.

Slowly walking over to them, I glance behind me back at my ex-boyfriend wondering what has happened.

As I approach the small crowd of people I see a glimpse of a body lying on the ground. Oh no. I think. Who is it?

A gasp escapes my lips.

Lilly.

Tears start falling down my face. My Dad sees me, and wraps me in a hug.

My knees buckle under my weight, and I collapse onto the floor, screaming. I feel as though someone is choking me. I can't breath.

Lilly, my best friend was dead.

Dad lifted me off the floor and got an officer to drive me home.

I just sit on the sofa and stare at the floor. My Mum brings me some food, which I don't eat. She sits down next to me and lays my head down on her lap. I cry into her, letting it all out. I cry until I can't cry anymore. Then she puts me to bed. By this time it is 3 in the morning.

I can't sleep. I just lay in bed staring at the selling, wishing that I will wake up and it will all have been a dream. But it's not. It is real. My best friend, Lilly Kane, is dead. And nothing is going to change that simple fact.

She is gone.

At 10 o'clock I get out of bed, after no sleep, and have a shower and get changed. I walk purposefully to my car, get in and drive. The one person, who can make me feel somewhat better, just got back from Mexico about an hour ago.

Soon I arrive at a metal set of automatic gates, which open, and I drive up the driveway to a lavish looking house.

As I open my car door, a beautiful, tall woman walks out of the house and tightly squeezes my hand as she leads me inside. Passing through the house I notice nothing. Not the look of pain and sympathy of the housekeeper, Mrs. Navaro, as I walk by her, nor the pat on the shoulder I receive from one of the biggest movie stars to ever walk the red carpet, nor the weak smile the pretty red headed girl gives me. I just keep walking through the house, until I stop outside a door to knock three times on the hard wooden frame.

A tallish, brunet opens the door and pulls me into a loving embrace. He lets go only to tug me into the room and hug me again. We both cling to one another. All our pain just subsiding as we enfold ourselves in each other's embrace.

As we pull away I notice the tears in his eyes. I walk him to the sofa in the corner of the room, and we sit down together. That's when I start to cry again. He looks at me and cuddles me into his chest. And that is how we sit for who knows how long. Not talking, just letting our pain overwhelm, us with grief.

"Logan! She's gone. She's really gone!" I whimper into his chest.

"We're gonna get through this Veronica. We're gonna get through this." He whispers, trying to convince himself as much as me.

Some time later I wake up in the comfort of my own bed, in my room. As I look around, I see Logan asleep on the floor next to me. His hand stretched out to my bed. It looked as though we fell asleep holding hands. I get out of bed, being carful not to wake up, or step on, Logan. After a shower, I find him standing in front of my bookshelf staring at a picture frame.

As I approach him I realize that the picture is of Lilly and me, at a picnic that Duncan and Logan had organized for Valentines Day last year. We were both smiling back at the camera. Lilly looked so alive and happy in the photo.

"You fell asleep at my house yesterday, so I drove you home. Your mum is out and your Dad is at the station. He asked me to stay with you until he got home late tonight." Logan said in a neutral voice, still staring hungrily at the photo.

"Thanks. Do you want something to eat?" I say to him. He looked after me yesterday and last night, so it was my turn to look after him.

"No, I don't feel like eating." He replies, as he turns around to look at me.

"You have to eat something Logan, when did you last eat?"

"Yesterday morning, I had a slice of toast."

"Come on I'll get something for you." I say, as I gently take his hand in mine, and pull him towards the kitchen.

He follows me without complaint. "When did _you_ last eat?"

"I, um. I don't know." I reply honestly.

"I'll eat if you eat." He says stubbornly.

"Fine, but you had better make something up, because I can't cook." I look up to see him smile weakly at me.

"Ok Ronnie."

As Logan busies himself in the kitchen, making up breakfast, I walk into the living room, and turn the TV on.

Images of a beautiful, blond girl come on the screen; it is a photo memorial of Lilly's life.

"Logan!" I yell, tears filling my eyes again. "Logan!"

He runs into the room. "Ronnie! What's wrong?" He asks as he looks at me with concern. Then he looks up at the screen showing images of Lilly.

He falls heavily onto the sofa behind him, and breaks down. I turn off the TV to come and sit down on the sofa next to him. He is shaking uncontrollably, so I lay his head on my lap and stroke his hair soothingly. Tears were still running down my face. The shock and pain of Lilly's death, makes me want to curl into a ball and never come back to the real world. But Logan was feeling the exact same way as me. And the only way to deal with Lilly's death is to grieve with someone who loved her as much as me.

That would be Logan.

I have known Lilly for longer than Logan, but we both loved her. Lilly and I have been best friends since, forever! She'd been going out with Logan for a while, but they were friends before they started going out. We had all been friends for a long time. Me, Logan, Lilly and Duncan, Lilly's brother. We were the fab four as Lilly liked to say.

Duncan and I were going out Logan and Lilly were going out. Logan and Lilly were a kind of "off again, on again" thing.

The four of us had kind of made our own little family. We used to do everything together, but that all changed when Duncan suddenly dumped me with no reason whatsoever.

One day at school I turned around to say good morning to him, and he just walked passed me. He just avoided me. Both Lilly and Logan didn't know why either. Duncan didn't even tell me why we broke up.

"Ronnie?" Logan's voice brings me back to reality.

"Yeah?" I reply tiredly.

"Do you still want food?" He says with a frail smile, as he slowly gets up, "because it is a bit cold." He looks towards the untouched food on the table behind the sofa, where he must have put down the food when he came into the room.

"It's afternoon now, lets just order some pizza." I say with a watery smile as I walk over to him. Standing on tippy toes I kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks Logan, I don't think I could have survived all this without you! You are a really great friend!" I smile up at him.

"You too Veronica! I don't know what I would do without you!" He says, as he pulls me into another hug.

"Don't worry Logan, I'm not going anywhere!" I say into his chest.

"Neither am I!"


	2. Chapter 2: The Funeral

**Author: Sally97**

**Title: Veronica Deals with Lilly's Death Chapter 2**

**Thank you for the reviews they were great!**

**Disclaimer, I do not own the rights to Veronica Mars or any of the characters. **

"The best way to grieve for someone you love is by grieving in a collective group of people that also loved the deceased."

That word; deceased. That is a disgusting word, so inhuman and non relatable. Lilly is not "the deceased" as the soft voiced, Master of Ceremonies liked to call her. She was the most alive person I have ever met! She could light up a room just by walking in. "Lilly Kane was a beautiful young girl whose time came too early."

Lilly Kane was the sister I never had. We did everything together. I loved her. Lilly Kane was my best friend. And this was her funeral.

There were over four hundred people here, but only about a quarter of them were actually grieving for the loss of a lively 17 year old girl. The Kane's were million heirs. So most of the guests were just here to impress the grieving parents.

We were sitting in a massive orchard with beautiful flowers everywhere. The chairs were facing a sort of stage, with a picture of Lilly near the microphone. She was smiling happily at us. Mr. and Mrs. Kane were seated on the stage, both with red blotchy eyes. Next to them sat Duncan, Lilly's brother and my ex-boyfriend. There were other people on the stage but I didn't recognize them.

As I look around the large orchard I see mostly no one I know, mostly no one who knows Lilly. I see heaps of people from school. Madison Sinclair was sitting about six rows back from me. She had a tear running down her face, she did know Lilly but not as well as me. Dick Cassablancas was sitting near her, along with his little brother, Beaver, and some other guys from school. For the first time ever Dick wasn't talking or being obnoxious, he looked miserable. I caught his eye, and he nodded at me and then turned back to listen to the speaker. Meg Manson was here. I expected her to be. Meg had to be one of the nicest people at school. Her boyfriend, Cole, had his arm around her. She was crying into his shoulder.

I was sitting in the front row of chairs, with Logan sitting next to me. He had an arm around me, protecting me from the grief that had me lying in my bed crying this morning. Logan was staring at the picture of Lilly sadly. They had been going out for a long time.

"The deceased's family would now like to invite Veronica Mars up to the stage to say a few words about Lilly."

That horrible word again. Deceased.

"Veronica?" Logan gently pulls me to my feet, "It's your turn to speak."

I let Logan steer me towards the stage. He was practically carrying me up the few steps to the stage.

I didn't need to practice my speech or write it down. I knew it in my heart.

"Lilly was my best friend." I start off, my throat catching on the past tense of was. "We were like sisters." I glance at Duncan behind me, who was staring at his feet, and then at Logan standing next to me. "The four of us, Lilly, Duncan, Logan and I, we were our own little family." A tear falls down my cheek. "Lilly would always call us the Fab Four." I say with a watery smile at Logan, who chuckled also with tears in his eyes. "Next year would have been Lilly's senior year at high school. But now she'll never get that experience." I couldn't see anymore, because I was crying so much. I could feel the pain and grief trying to swallow me whole again. "Lilly was the most alive person I have..." I couldn't talk, it just wouldn't come out. Then an arm came around my shoulders, a comforting, strong arm. I look up into Logan's tear stained eyes. Finding the courage I needed to continue.

I clear my throat, and with a shuddering breath I continue. "Lilly was the most alive person I have ever met! She could light up a room just by walking in. Lilly was crazy, funny, stubborn, annoying, silly and brave. She made my life insane, but unforgettable. I loved Lilly, and I always will. Not a second goes by that I don't miss her, not one second! But I will carry her in my heart, always!"

I look down at my shaking hands. The crowed was quiet. Suddenly everyone starts clapping. I look up and see that everyone in the crowd has tears in their eyes.

"That was brilliant Veronica!" Logan whispers to me as pulls me into a hug.

"That, ladies and gentlemen, will conclude our service. A wake will be held at the Kane's house. Thank you for coming." The soft voiced MC says to the crowd.

Logan takes my hand and we make our way back to his car. My dad couldn't come because he was too busy at the sheriff's office trying to catch Lilly's killer, and my mum couldn't come because she wasn't feeling too well. So Logan was my ride to and from the funeral and wake. We liked each other's company so the carpooling didn't bother either of us.

Just as we reach Logan's car, Mr. Kane catches up with us. With tears in his eyes, he pulls me into a warm hug. "Thank you!" he says to me as he pulls away. He shakes Logan's hand then walks back to his own car.

Logan helps me into the car, and then gets in the other side. We sit in comfortable silence as he drives us to the Kane's house.

As we reach the gate to the Kane's Neptune, California home, we see a group of paparazzi taking photos of the people in the cars driving through the gates. Logan's face becomes enraged and his grip on the steering wheel tightens, his nuckels becoming white. I gently place my hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down.

"Logan," I say calmly, "they are just trying to get a story. Don't do anything you'll regret."

And just like always Logan calms down at the sound of my voice and my touch. He pulls into a free car park and stretches his hands, trying to get the feeling back into them. He looks over and smiles weakly at me, and then he looks back down at his hands, frowning.

"Every time I don't think of her, I feel like I'm dishonoring her memory." He says slowly, still looking down.

"Like, whenever you feel happy, or smile, it's like how can I be happy when Lilly is dead?" I say looking up at him. "I know the feeling."

He runs his hands through his hair, and then looks back at me. We stare at each other for a moment, and then he leans down and kisses me lightly on the mouth. I pull away, shocked by the kiss. Then he pulls me back in and I let him. Kissing him back with the same passion. His breathing quickens and he runs his hands though my hair. He smells so intoxicating and I press myself closer to his body. My hands are at his waist and they slowly make there way up to his neck, where they stay.

Logan's phone suddenly beeps, and we break apart gasping for breath. Logan smiles broadly at me, and I smile shyly back. He fishes his still beeping phone out of his pocket.

"Duncan text me, he's looking for me."

"Um, well, we should, yeah." I blush.

Logan smiles at me again, then gets out of the car and walks over to my side, and opens the door.

"Thanks!" I say with a smile as I get out.

"Your welcome."

We walk towards the house together, Logan with his arm protectively around my small shoulders.

I sigh as we walk through the front doors. All these horrible people, that didn't even know or care about Lilly, were about to make idle conversation with me saying stuff like "I'm sorry for your loss" or "It'll take time but you'll get over it."

They probably aren't sorry for my loss, it gave them a great way into the Kane's good books, go to their daughter's funeral and you'll get a promotion. And I know for a fact that I'm never going to "get over" the death of my best friend!

A tear rolls down my face as a new wave of grief crashes into me. Logan looks down at me and sees that I'm about to fall apart again.

"Hey? Let's find a seat." Lagan gently tows me towards an empty sofa.

A familiar face comes walking through the crowd of unknown people. I move over closer to Logan to make room for Dick who sits down next to me.

"Hey." He says sounding miserable.

"Hi." I say back.

"So... how are you holding up Veronica? He says looking at me with slight concern, which is so unusual for Dick. He has never particularly liked me and the feeling was mutual, but we tolerated each other for Duncan and Logan's sake.

"I'm... I'm how you'd expect me to feel." I say, not really wanting to put into words how wrecked I was feeling.

Logan's arm once again comes protectively over my shoulder. A tear falls down my cheek. With a reproachful glance at Dick, to change the subject, Logan pulls me into a hug.

"Hey guys? Veronica's dad is here." Dick says. We break a part quickly, with me blushing. I stand up to walk over to my Dad, when he gives me a slight shake of his head.

He walks straight over to Mr. Kane and talks to him quietly for a few seconds. Everyone had seen my Dad walk in, and they were now watching with mild interest. "What?" Mr. Kane yells at Dad, "you are arresting me for the murder of my daughter? What evidence do you have?"

"We just want to ask you a few more questions down at the station, and if you don't come quietly we'll have to be more formal." Dad says sternly.

Mr. Kane follows Dad out of the house. But the whole front room is only glass; so we all watch as my Father makes Jake Kane, the local million heir, get in the back of his Sheriff department car.

The whole time I'd been watch this go down my mouth had been gaping open and I was in complete shock. Mr. Kane wouldn't, couldn't have killed Lilly!

Suddenly I realize that everyone was staring at me. Then Celeste Kane, Lilly and Duncan's mum and Jake Kane's wife, walks over to me.

"Veronica dear, I think it would be best if you'd leave." She says to me, with the most forced smile I have ever seen, "Now." She says, her eyes like daggers. Well it seems like looks can't kill, because if they could I would be so very dead about now. But I just stared at her, with wide eyes.

I was being kicked out of my best friend's house! Ever since I had become friends with Lilly, this house had been like a second home to me, I was always welcome at the Kane's house. But I was being kicked out of Lilly's wake, let a long her home!

All the guests were staring at me and it was dead silent.

I turned around to look at Logan.

Please Logan, I know that you love Jake Kane like a second father, and Duncan is your best friend, but please come to my rescue!

I catch his eyes and I look at him with pleading in my eyes. But he just turned away. Anger clearly shown on his face.

I suddenly turn back around to face Mrs. Kane, with tears in my eyes. I can't believe Logan just did that! How long have we been friends? Forever!

God, I wish I could just melt into the floor.

"I'll leave!" I snap at Mrs. Kane as I walk straight past her and out the doors.


	3. Chapter 3: At the Beach

**Veronica Deals with Death Part 3**

**A/N: This is a seriously short chapter, sorry, but I didn't want to mix themes. This chapter is about all of the emotional stuff that Veronica is going through and how she doesn't need words for Logan to understand, or for her to know exactly what is going on in Logan's head.**

How could Logan do nothing while I was tossed out of my best friend's wake? I can't believe Dad would arrest Jake Kane for Lily's murder?

All these thoughts run through my head as I walk home. The anger had faded to just a dull feeling. My black dress, I wore for the funeral, blowing in the sea breeze. I decide to walk along the beach path to get home, and the cool air is chilling my shoulders. I forgot to get my coat when Celeste ordered me out of her house. She always hated me when I was dating Duncan, but how could she kick me out? Then again my Father had just arrested her husband. What was up with that? Dad can't possibly think that Jake killed Lily.

I close my eyes and stop walking. Turning my head I watch the waves crash on the ocean floor. Slipping off my shoes I walk in the sand, towards the water. I sit down fifty metres from shore, and watch the blue reflective ocean.

A shadow passes over me and I look up. Logan was standing there, looking lost and alone. He sits next to me and puts his jacket around my shoulders. I nod in thanks, and shuffle closer to him. Logan puts a protective arm around me and I lean into his side. We don't speak. We just sit there, in our soft embrace, watching the ocean.

Logan had been my friend for a long time, and nothing was going to change that, but I could tell how he was feeling. My Father had just arrested someone Logan thought of as a second Dad, and that hurt. He couldn't believe that my Dad could think Jake was capable of murder, which I agreed upon fully, and yet he wasn't holding it over me.

We still didn't speak as the sun set over the now calm water. Logan stands, and helps me to my feet. We slowly walk back to his car and drive to his house. I find myself falling asleep in the loving arms of the only person who knows exactly how I feel.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. remember to review! :)**

**Also, you can follow me on tumblr at **


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